Thursday, February 21, 2013

21/2/13

I shall revert to tradition and start at the beginning this time!  I had a lovely few days following the interview at Warwick; I know that it could go either way, but at the same time I know I've done everything that I can do so there's no point worrying about it (yet!). It's the first time since well before Christmas that I haven't had an interview to prepare for and it's a nice feeling! Combine that with the few days of sunshine we had and I was bouncing.

It got busy at times at work over the weekend, people making the most of the weather and hiring bikes. Actually enjoyed the weekend (is liking your work allowed?) - bring on the summer! The sunniness continued into Monday and Tuesday, didn't make the most of it on Monday - with an hour on the turbo being my main activity...but I was still feeling good. Getting to the hour mark still feels like an achievement and my legs were feeling good - felt I was pedaling harder, faster and for longer than usual and yet they were fine afterwards. Training paying off then?

Tuesday I ended up going out with Dobby for a couple of hours. So tempting to stay out for longer...such a lovely day!


Had to return home though as I was heading out to see my GP again. She was once again very smiley, whilst this is perhaps a tad irritating I think I like her. She seems quite understanding and like she actually wants to help (which doesn't seem to be a universal trait of GPs). We had a bit of a chat and decided that I should start the medication my consultant had suggested. She said "When you first asked about it, I was reluctant, I thought you were very young to be starting them, but then you showed me your arm and I though 'ah'."

We seemed to decide that the best way to start these would be to stop the previous tablets (which had been helping, especially at night), and then, as protocol dictates, slowly build the new ones up until they become effective, but with the side effects becoming manageable. This does mean for the time being they're not that effective (which is making me a bit grumpy!), and there is probably an element of "withdrawal" from the other ones which won't help matters. Hopefully we're on the right track now and things will settle down...

I'm afraid the "less than happy" shall become the dominating factor now. Saw new consultant yesterday, somehow my notes hadn't made it over the road to the "posh" hospital but I managed to give him all the information he needed and he decided that the notes wouldn't make any difference to his opinion. His opinion was unfortunately, as expected, that there isn't any magic treatment or test and there isn't anything more to be done for me. He did say that he couldn't even be 100% sure that it was nerve damage, and that it might be something subtle going on with a tendon/muscle so has given me the name of a physiotherapist who I hope to see soon, just in case he can help me. This does raise a couple of issues, at least when they were confident of nerve damage whilst a lot of activities were more than a little uncomfortable they probably weren't doing any damage, if it's a tendon/muscle thing then there's a good chance that they are...but we'll just have to see how it goes!

Generally looks like the outlook is poor though. A combination of this news, and the effects of painkiller swapping mean I didn't get a lot of sleep last night. Despite my efforts it took me until around 2am to finally drift off after much tossing, turning and contemplating. Some of the things that came to mind were quite worrying, especially in the detail that they came with.

I'm sure everything will settle back down soon, it just might take a couple of days. After all, nothing has *really* changed has it? There's a lot of people out there with far bigger problems that just get on with things without complaining, whilst I may complain a bit "getting on with things" is exactly what I intend to do. Just allow me a bit of wallowing first?

Plans for the day include the purchase of special offer Easter eggs to cheer me up. And possibly socks too if I can find anything appropriate. Definitely let down by the lucky socks yesterday. Some sort of run/bike activity will also be required...got to see how the legs fair with 3 sessions in a week! 

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