I'll start with a quick bit about bikes and then move on to the "proper" content.
Rode to work and back this morning, had intended to go slowly but got a bit carried away on the Strava sprint section on the way in (again!), it killed me but it was almost worth it! I have cemented my QOM (fastest girl by 18 seconds, not bad when it only took me 24!), and am now 7th out of 77 overall. Not bad seen as I'm still a bit broken and haven't "trained" in over a year!
2012 cycling: 174.33 miles
Right. The real post now.
I've said I've not been very happy for the last few days and I've worked out why now. Most of my reasoning is irrational (i.e. certain hospital worries), some of it is a bit more reasonable (i.e. arm hurting more, worrying about getting into uni again); but all of it would appear to be out of my control.
The level of the irrational stuff was helped by giving myself a "talking too" because I know that, on the whole, I don't have anything to worry about. 'Cept I'm still worrying. Memories of things that happened last time, most of which I seem to recall just dealing with as they happened at the time, are now coming back to haunt me and I don't like it! The more I think about the worse the memory of waking up unable to move or feel from the elbow down is!
So what to do about it?
Simply forgetting about it didn't go well, and nor has trying to rationalise it so I have decided that the solution must therefore also be irrational.
Pancakes helped for a little while, but unfortunately eating pancakes all the time isn't very practical and I think I'd get rather overweight too. Being much busier at work today helped a bit, although made me more sore which definitely didn't. However I have been feeling a bit better today and I put it down to the most irrational thing ever.
I ordered several pairs of cycling socks 'cos they look cool and they were on sale. Disappointingly no one gets to see them while I'm wearing them because I'm a girl so if I wear shorts/ three quarter lengths I have to wear short socks otherwise I'd look silly. But I knew I was wearing them (not the coolest looking ones 'cos I'm saving them for something special!). There's something about wearing very comfy new socks (really comfy 'cos they're cycling ones) that makes me feel a little bit happier inside. I think I might wear another new pair tomorrow. If only I could afford to do that *every* day. Actually, if I could afford that I don't think I'd have most of my problems any more! (*fingers crossed for a lottery win*)
If anyone has any suggestions (sensible or otherwise!) as how to solve the rest of my problems I'm all ears (well not literally, but you know what I mean...), otherwise I'll get fed up of feeling fed up! Yes really, I am asking for guidance from "the people of the internet"!
Oh yes. Here's a picture of the socks!